One Layer by 2BLuvd

A far as relationships go, I think I have had less relationship experiences that the other two bloggers. At 23 y/o, I have never been in a true relationship. This sometimes bothers me. However, in my last infatuation, AND I REPEAT INFATUATION, I encountered experiences in which I wouldn't wish on anyone in a million years. I've been lied to and everything else, you name it, it happened... Anyway, through it all I think the only layer that I will truly have moving forward is TRUST... I want to have an amazing amount of trust in whoever I'm in a relationship with. I want to be able to trust you when I see you and even more when I can't. I know this is pretty basic and probably sounds really elementary, but this is honestly the only layer that I would have problems cutting through. But who knows...We shall see....

Gays have layers too - distant lover

Careless heart def has a gift from God as this topic of getting through to the real me and my layers has been on my heart. My eyes are literally filling up right now so if this post doesn't make sense that's why. Until now I have nvr been in a true relationship although I feel in this lifestyle nothing is traditional. In college I was not out so although I was talking to someone the last yr of school off in on there was no consistency due to lack of communication and the distance. I have been in relationships were it was not built on anything, no foundation, either just convenient or great sex. I have been hurt and I've hurt others, sometimes I feel like my heart is to big I put others before which has been a issue. So my first layer is to break through is my wall is as tall as ur eyes can see. One must bring something different to the table and be different from the rest. If I see the other person is opening up then I will too. Next of course is trust. I need to feel comfortable wit yo friends, n I need to know about any skeletons that might come up in the future. The last thing that come to mind is being able to compromise, u won't agree with everything but being able to give n take and work out differences. #1 - opening up, #2 - building trust, #3 - 50/50 those are my layers for my relationship to be successful.

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letting go -distant lover

I'm at work n Lord knows I have so much to do but I have so much on my heart I can't think. This lifestyle is not a easy one especially when u try not to let it consume ur life, so when issues occur how do u let go? The typical gay would drink, do drugs, or go on a fucking spree, its hard enough not to be accepted so we find methods to "get away". Well if u dnt want to do that how do u do that, how do u let go. My answer - sit back and thank God for all of the blessings he bestowed upon u and stop complaining about what u dnt have. I know its easier said then done. Well I am sitting at work (blessing), my car (blessing) didn't break down on the way to work...I can go on and on. What ultimately helps me get through are my two best friends who are also Bloggers in this lounge. I am so grateful to have these ppl in my life for they are true friends, its said that most gays are messy and can't be true friends. I'm not saying our friendship is perfect n I know I'm that best friend but that accept me for who I am and I do the same in return. So I say of this to say dig down deep for we all are great ppl and find a positive outlet to let go!

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Too Damn Hard on Love- Careless Heart

You all know I had to bring the other side of this love thang to the table. I've been in love before and lost it. Because of that one time that was so good, and yes I messed up and have been messing up since then, I find it hard to fall i love again. I had a conversation with a Straight at work yesterday about how the older we get, the harder it is to build a relationship because we have to peel through so many layers of old relationships and hurt. Now if that's not the truth, I don't know what is. I know that I have build my layers over the years and it's not fair to me nor others. I want all the writers of the Perception Lounge to write about this. What are some layers that others have to go through to be able to get in a successful relationship? What are your layers? I'm going to kick it off with talking about my layers. My first layer to even be considered would be to be able to show me attention, initiate, or bring excitement to the table. I've been spoiled in my past relationships and had all of these so it is a must. Secondly, they have to build my trust. This layer comes from all areas, my mom was the start of me not trusting people. Next there was the dating phase that I went through recently. During that dating phase, I dated several dudes that either tried to sleep with my friend or wanted to be exclusive but still do their thing on the side without me knowing. Last but not least that directly relates to the first too things is communication. I've dated people who do not know how to communicate and my friends say that I tell too much sometimes. Learn how to be genuine and communicate what you want, how you feel, and when you want something. To wrap it back around to the main topic, perfect man, if someone could break through my layers, genuine,love nice,not fem, and communicate, that's my perfect man.

CARELESS LOVE

love struck - distant lover

I usually write in a way that express my feelings without uncovering the true meaning, allowing others to put themselves in my shoes. But its 1:45 now and the topic of the gays and love came to mind. I can personally say that feelings for the same sex grow a lot faster then the opposite, but does that mean its love? I must admit in my younger days I was quick to pop out the L word during the infatuation phase (first 2 months or less in some cases). During this period he can do no wrong, for no flaws were displayed. Next thing u know u find out he smashed the hommies or can't communicate, then what? Well the old me would leave and move on, then realize that my feelings wasn't love. Which brings me to the question when is it okay to say that four letter word? There is no right answer, but I must say u need to KNOW HIM BEFORE U CAN LOVE HIM you understand. If yall get into a fight and u start looking for a replacement, or if u dnt know where he work or any of his friends baby that's not love. I say all of this to say recognize when ur in a phase of infatuation but dnt let the gays tell u its too soon to love.

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Picture Perfect -Distant Lover

A whirlwind full of indescribable feelings, emotions and thoughts take over my body

My face turns red and my heart begins to race as I try to catch my breath

The thought of you brings me joy instead of happiness, for happiness may only last for a moment but this feeling has never left since I first met you

Every time my phone displays your name chills runs through my spine as if I just drunk an ice cold lemonade on a hot and humid summer day

Anger can’t exist long between the bond that we share for there’s no room for negativity

Your imperfections are no mistakes in my eyes, its what creates my smile

Every time I see something beautiful such as the morning sun creeping through my window or feel the soft midnight breeze I think of you

I want you all to myself, its like Christmas I don’t want to share but I know your heart is way too big so you must

You’ve taught me so much about myself it amazes me every day, for I only hope that I can help do the same

I sit back and look at the situation and try to figure out what is it…

Well I guess this thing we have is picture perfect

Man of my Dreams by 2BLuvd

Today, on the way to go see my family, one of my new friends called me. Let’s just call this friend JD. JD and I met a couple weeks ago through some mutual friends. Through conversation, JD and I ended up talking about my snacks and pieces (boys). JD then suggested that due to my current living arrangement, I have to go see whoever it is because they can’t come see me. This I totally agreed with. I later let JD know that at the time, I don’t have any pieces or snacks… “Why is that?” JD asked. “Maybe I’m too picky” I replied… So to cut to the chase and make a long story short we went into this conversation about “MY TYPE”. What is my type? Let’s see… I like masculine, attractive, intellectual, discreet, goal oriented and highly conversable men… Is that a lot to ask for? I have to be honest; I have had terrible luck in finding all of this in one nice package… Not to say I’m perfect, because I’m far from it, but I just don’t get into some of the dudes that I see when I go to various places. Another answer to the question of why don’t I talk to anyone is… I honestly don’t think that I have been in the environment with the men that I’m ultimately attracted to. The very thought of this can be really discouraging at times. When I think about it, I’m about to be in my mid 20s and I have yet to truly experience what TRUE love is. I have yet to experience dating on more cultural and intellectual level. I understand that dating doesn’t bring happiness, however, being social is one of the basic needs of mankind. After all, Adam wasn’t in that garden by his self you know…LOL . Anyway, I will get off my soap box and just leave it at this… I am ready to meet the man of dreams….I AM READY 2BLUVD!!!!!!!!

Is your perception your reality? – Distant Lover

At first glance it appeared to be as bold as a lion, when really it is as gentle as a cool breeze. You may have to squint to see what is really reality, for ones perception can blind thy true site. The smile is as captivating as fireworks on a clear summer night. But when no1 is looking it sizzles out in the dark for the glamour is a just a disguise to cover up the pain. Physical pain may only last for a short moment however, emotional scars can seem to last a lifetime. The reflection of the light makes your yearn to see what can become, but please contemplate pursuit for what you perceive to be the truth may not be reality. Yes, the heart is that of gold and yes, they can bring you joy. However, due to those who came b4 you it will take some time before your perception becomes your reality.

Eye of the Beholder by 2BLuvd

What is trade? What is a homo thug? What is a Queen? What is the true definition of homosexuality? How can you tell if a man is gay? One might ask these questions in hope to get a true and solidified answer. Anyway, I hope yall nosey asses didn’t think I was about to answer these things. Not so you can go catch a piece of snack (see glossary) off my perception… Perception, that’s the topic!!! On the real, I believe there are so many views and biases on the lifestyle we live that there is no possible way to give a true definition to any of the questions listed above. So I’ll start by telling you all the perceptions that the straight people have of us that I don’t particularly care for.
1. Just because you a dude doesn’t mean I like you.
(Dudes kill me thinking that just because another dude gay, that they are attracted to them. That is such a fallacy.)
2. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that I would talk to any gay male.
(Just because we gay doesn’t mean we are attracted to everybody. Enough said!!)
3. Last but definitely not least, Gay men desire more than sex.
(Many people think just because you are gay, all you want to do is fuck. We desire companionship and romance too… We desire 2Bluvd!!!! )
Anyway, as a gay male who has always been exposed to an environment where the like wasn’t accepted, I have always had to conceal my true views and perception of the lifestyle that I have later come to know and love. For example, MY FAMILY!! As I may have stated earlier, although I’m gay, my parents don’t KNOW about me. I’m sure they have every reason to think or believe I am but the confirmation is yet to come. I’ll say this. My dad will probably disown me once he finds out. And on the other hand, my mom is probably going to have every deacon, minister, and elder in this house performing an exorcism on me if she finds out. These beliefs and feeling truly makes me feel unwanted and like a stranger in my own house. I feel as though I can’t be who I am and I have to work harder to hide him. But I’ll end by saying this, the perception that they have of gay people is cross-dressing, HIV prone, embarrassing, and undetermined human beings. However, I am none of the above. I’m just a product of GODs master plan that has been created this way for a purpose. And when it’s all said and done, I’ll be happy being me and knowing that the only thing that matters is being beautiful in the eye of the ultimate beholder…

Who's Careless Heart????

Who's is Careless Heart? That’s a damn good question? You can surely say that I am the oldest of the group. Am I the wisest? In some cases, yes and in some cases no. If I was, these other bitches wouldn’t be making more than me right now. BUT WHO CARES. LOL. I have to say that I am the planner of the group, although I’m extremely tired of playing that role. I’m trying to get 2BLoved to take over. She did a good job with her lil first event. I love to cook and my friends seem to think that my heart can be a lil cold sometimes. Some may think that I don’t give my heart away, while I think that I’m just saving it for the right person at the right time. I think I’m fairly creative. I’m not too fem, I don’t think, but I have changed from the gentlemen that I used to be. No more Mr. Nice guy. IDK. Maybe it’s my shield. Well enough about me b/c I could go on forever. You will find out more about me as you read on. Until then, CH.

Who is Distant Lover?

I am the youngest of the three and yes the best looking of course…lol, seriously I think that each of us brings something different to the lounge and you will see more as you continue to read. Well, you can say I have one foot in the closet while the rest of my body is out. I have yet to tell my family but I do go to gay events and no I am not a club head. I am not feminine either, it is not my style, but after so long in this lifestyle you do learn certain “gay behaviors”. I have been through a lot of changes from being “out” in high school, very “DL” in college due to being popular, and now I am a nice mix of the two. I. I just recently moved across the country away from all of my family and friends to start a chapter in my life, including someone who means a lot to me thus the name Distant Lover. That is my introduction, so enough with this soft porn action… sit back as I strap up and enjoy the ride…

My Name is 2BLuvd

What's Up World? Welcome to the Perception Lounge. My name is 2BLuvd... I'm a recent college graduate from a HBCU and I recently moved back to Atlanta permanently for the first time in 5 years. I was blessed enough to land a great career in my field, so at the time, most of my time is devoted to working, sleeping and hanging out with my friends. So, as many of you all know, "The Perception Lounge" is a place where my friends and I can totally be ourselves. Let me further explain. I'm GAY!! Lol... But contrary to popular belief, I’m not feminine, I wear male clothes and I still have straight friends. So that sums up the general need for my presence as a blogger. Even through college, with being a frat boy, I was physically, emotionally and socially forced to conceal my true feelings and desires for my life and my environments. Furthermore, that trend stops today. I'm excited to finally share my views on love, relationships, sex, etc. So I invite all of you guys to tune in and feel free to post comments. In addition, tell all your friends to come and feel free to express themselves. Stay tuned for more by 2Bluvd.

THIS IS MY INTRODUCTION!!!!!!!!!

The Way Things Are Perceived by Careless Heart

This past weekend I threw my mom a birthday party for her 50th. I have to say it turned out really nice. I’m a control freak so I was stressed out about having other people complete task since I don’t live there. Let me get to the topic at hand. I invited my best friend, his boyfriend, and his mother. My family knows I’m gay and I’m very comfortable in my skin and they love my bff. Now I thought that we would be the only gay people at the party; that was so not the case. My gay cousin was there, and another local Gay. We’ll just call her Grace Jones. This was an all back party and Grace Jones showed up in cut off jeans, a t-shirt, and some dirty shoes. His hair was pretty long and to me looked out of control. To make a long story short, he got up to do a song, “Sweet Thang”, and boy was she sweet. My bff boyfriend took a video of it. Now let me repeat, I’m comfortable in my skin, but I hate for people to have the perception that all gays are the same. I don’t consider myself the most masculine dude nor am I overly flamboyant. You won’t find me wearing woman’s clothes, nor will you see me acting over the top. I was born a man and I intend on staying one. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging those who do so, I’m just a little frustrated that society assumes all gay people are this way. I can remember telling my mom that I did not like gay people. She replied, “How can you say you don’t like gay people when you’re gay. Do you not like yourself?” At that point I saw a dude walking down the street with some heals on and a purse and so I pointed to the dude and told her that’s what I don’t like. She replied, “oh, you don’t like faggots.” At that point I had to stop my mom because I don’t like that word. It’s like calling another black person nigga, so degrading. Although she used that word, we both agreed that I don’t like over the top fem dudes. So when I tell people that I’m gay, I hate the way I am perceived. It’s just like saying all black people are hood or ghetto. So don’t think that you know me, because you don’t by far, and only perceive me for the way that things are.