Tonight I spoke to an old friend. Don't get upset when I say this, but the best friend I've ever had. I decided to text them just to make sure all was well. Needless to say all was not well. When I heard this, everything turned back to what it used to be. This is one person that I would cross the ocean for just to give them a piece of gum if they wanted it. I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew I was willing to do anything to make it better. They said they would probably take me up on my offer to help. Ten minutes later, I got a call from them and my heart immediately dropped. I have not spoken to this person in months so there was a burst of excitement and concern all at the same time. When I found out that it was relationship problems, I was so relieved. I was worried that it was something a bit more than that. I went straight into friend mode and tried my best to talk them through it. It was pretty hard to hear words phrases like, "this is the only person I have like since you", but that was not my main concern; my main concern was to make sure that this person was alright, even if it meant their heart. I talked them through it, and we got off the phone. This is extremely weird for me because I just got to the point to where I decided that I would give a relationship a chance and stop focusing so much on what me and this friend had built and lived in the past. It's hard to date when you come from something so great, easy, and beautiful. Overall, I realize that this was the only person that I ever wanted to love. Do I still love them? Yes. Would I still love to be with them? Yes. Would I still do anything in the world for them? Yes. After asking myself all these questions, I had one more question to ask. If I was dating someone and this person decided that they wanted to come back in my life, would I drop the person I was dating? The answer would still be yes. With that being said, I not so sure if I'm ready to give love a try again.
Guess my heart isn't so careless, or at least this is the reason why it is.
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